18 Comments
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Jeffmcmullen's avatar

That blonde-haired younger brother appears in my mind often. We are together paddling a tin canoe we had made from a sheet of galvanised roofing iron. We have sealed the bow and stern with sticky tar lifted from our street. The vessel has no keel, is difficult to balance with two of us aboard and is soon taking water. We are in the middle of the muddy river but as I sit in the rear and know we are sinking, all I can hear is his laughter. Abandoning ship, we tow our tinny ashore and hide it in the mangroves. Walking home in our muddy shorts we hope mum will be laughing too. Yes Alia, he will be with us forever.

Alia Parker's avatar

A beautiful story. I can picture it so vividly, Jeff. Laughing as the ship goes down 😂

Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Reading and listening to your post, I suspect the bond between you and your father was/is very deep, so much so that you find connections wherever you look. That’s a wonderful thing, hidden, unremembered bits coming to the surface linked in some way to your father. It’s a way to keep him with you even though he’s gone.

Alia Parker's avatar

It is lovely, Paul. At first I found them painful, but time has softened them into something comforting.

Kate Bown's avatar

Hello Alia, it was lovely to read about your father and to read the way he shaped your lives. How incredible the mind is that music and words and images jump out at you, linking you to your father, reminding you of him, even years after he has passed.

Smells and music seem to bring back memories for me. And I always laugh when I see a van on the road, because now I am a proud owner of a family van I see them everywhere. (They weren’t on my radar before).

Hope all is well in your little part of Australia.

Kate :)

Alia Parker's avatar

Thank you, Kate. Smells are fabulous memory triggers, aren't they.

I'm doing OK. A little under the weather at the moment after a trip to the city to visit a sick relative in hospital. The irony of a place for healing being the hot spot of disease 😂

Kate Bown's avatar

Hope you are feeling well soon

Jonathan Foster's avatar

”it is my mind in the white sheet” what a great line. Im on a bus driving through an April snow storm. The whole world’s in a white sheet. Coincidence? He he

I guess I prefer these days to let meaning be formed by the strangest of things. Whereas in the past I might have felt the need to shelter in firm explanation. Maybe meaning and truth and certainty and richness are a beautiful theatre from which you take what you will.

Alia Parker's avatar

Thank you, Jonathan.

I think that's a lovely way to let it be. I must confess, my desire to rationalise such things comes from an utter discomfort in believing that anything out there can co-ordinate such things. It's. Just. Freaky. 😂

Jonathan Foster's avatar

Oh I so totally agree. Coordination seems far too bureaucratic for life. Gives the impression of ghostly shopkeepers balancing their karma books. That’s. Just. Freaky :)

I suppose I just think that meaning is, like everything, a creation of the human mind, so maybe the stories told in a house are more important than the bricks and mortar that build the house. But it’s so hard to measure and categorise stories so we lean too far toward seeing only bricks and mortar.

Alia Parker's avatar

I like that. I'm sold. Now I just need to convince my brain to stop asking how I got in the house in the first place 😅

Jonathan Foster's avatar

Ha ha, yep, well Newton would give you an intuitive and material answer with Dawkins clapping along, but then Heisenberg and Schrödinger would tell you a whole other very unintuitive story that would get you questioning what your question even means. It’s. Just. Freaky. 🤣

Maybe I want my Easter egg and eat it too ;) he he

Alia Parker's avatar

Haha, 😂 I don't have a comeback for that one 👏

Enjoy your Easter Jonathan. I (really) am off to hide some eggs.

Jonathan Foster's avatar

Same to you pal ;) Enjoy

Lorraine Rigney's avatar

What a lovely explanation for all these coincidences, your dear dad is very much alive in these beautiful moments. For me, it’s Country Roads, which I sung softly in the moments before dad’s passing, his favourite song. Walking past a pub in Camden Market to hear the musician playing it, or just stopped to each lunch in Greece when the busker right in front of us starts playing it or at my cousins wedding about to take a family photo of 40+ people when the band starts playing it…..coincidence???? Xx

Alia Parker's avatar

That's a great song, Loz. How special that it's 'yours'. I love how music attaches to memory. And that sure is a 'coincidence' that song came on during the family photo. Like I said, I can never be sure of anything. 🙃

Steve Fendt's avatar

I’m reminded of my dad every time I look in the mirror – or I was until I grew the beard, because he was clean-shaven all his life. Always thought we were pretty much the same person, just born a generation apart. He’s been gone 14 years now.

Lovely piece, Alia, and as always, interesting thoughts to take away. Thank you.

Alia Parker's avatar

Thank you, Steve. That's a strong connection to have with your dad. It's fascinating how genes sometimes replicate those who've gone before.