Listen or read now | #68—Why are we forever wanting? Join writer Alia Parker in this short thought expedition as she looks for contentment in a world of wants.
It is always the same: I want another day to live, another day to love, another day to write. Is that three more days or just one? If there’s anyone listening: I want them all.
Oh Pepper. She was the most loving and cuddly little spirit. ❤️ We miss her presence, too. I saw the obituary in The Age yesterday for Nagi Maehashi's Golden Retriever, Dozer. They certainly are lovely dogs.
Simplicity. Wake to make coffee. Each day a dream like Maya. Just get some writing done, a creation. No need for going anywhere. Each day something different. Like myself, feel good, a yoga exercise, meditation. Calmness.
At any given moment I think I have no wants until I see the next bright thing I want… sigh. Re the house the 5 of us lived in a tiny house for almost 10 years consequently the proper house I have now been building for 15 years is large cause we fantasised about extra space for so long- it is now too big. Beware the extension! Building is a financial and relationship stress not for the faint hearted. Xo
Haha, it's like that, isn't it! Always something shiney out there. And then there are all the little wants that are so habitual and easily met that it's easy to forget them, like wanting to eat, shower, sleep, spend time with family. They are the nice wants.
Oh wow, 5 in a tiny house for 10 years. That's impressive. I hear you on the home building front. We lived in a tent down the back while this purposely small house was built. We always joked about the grand designs 'curse' of couples falling pregnant as soon as a build started and, voila! Our daughter was born 4 weeks after we moved out of the tent (we didn't plan on kids, but it was a pretty lovely 'curse' to befall us in the end) 😂
I just read about your trip to Japan. That must have been lovely, Gillian ❤️
What I want right now is for my next royalties to come in before we run out of money. It’s going to be tight.
And it’s entirely my fault. Record earnings last year were followed by record spending. Some of it prudent (topping up the super), some of it unavoidable, some of it … neither of those things.
I’m driven – we’re both driven – by the awareness that the things we don’t do soon, we might never do. I think I’m in reasonable shape, but I’m very aware that my father and grandfather both died when they were only seven years older than I am now.
Maybe that’s why the Angry Orange wants Greenland??
I’m glad the fire danger has abated. I’ve been looking at the huge fires to your northeast and southwest and keeping my fingers crossed for you.
But when is it going to rain?? I think that’s working its way up my list of wants, rapidly. This is our driest start to the year since 2014.
Excellent post, Alia, and a very pertinent question.
I want money. Sounds like a good song, Steve :) Good luck with those royalties. My fingers are crossed for you.
And time, we all want time. I suspect you've got an excellent chance of getting more of it than your elders did. I cross my fingers there for you, too!
Oh rain! Yes, I sure want rain. I've been watching the storms go around us for weeks. It's so disheartening when everything starts to die. I have a very water resilient garden, but even our banksia is on its last limbs.
When my children were small I used to warn them about the 'want monster' who lives inside. 'keep feeding him and he will not stop until he has eaten the whole world'. Initially shocked, there were two positive outcomes to this. First, it broke the polarised deadlock of me v. them. Second, it has helped them develop understanding that more is not necessarily better and develop self-control and discernment around what they pursue in life. They've grown up to see that yes in fact, the want monster is trying to devour the entire world. And he lives inside us.
Oooh, I like that. I will tell my little ones about the Want Monster. I think want is the second most used word in their vocabulary after mummy 😆 Thanks Jacqueline!
Brilliant Alia. Wanting. It's a aliment at times. Small children are very susceptible. I am guilty too, especially when I'm tired and exhausted and I think joy and contentment will arrive if I just had this. I love Mrs Feathertop's old house. Imagine a whole family crammed in there, and visitors rolling in to eat homemade cake. It would have been a very happy place. I hope you can extend your house one day, I think you could have that want. But really I think I just want to be loved and to love in return, and that's not much at all.
Absolutely, Kate. Funnily, I read in the NYTimes today about a new book called ‘How to be Loved’, which says that feeling loved is the greatest source of contentment.
I love passing the feather house. I always think of it as a happy place (it must be the cake!), although I’m sure she wanted things, too. Perhaps electricity, as my neighbour once did, haha.
There’s little that I want that I don’t already have. Reading about your situation in a small home gives me a massive guilt trip because Bonnie Jean and I live by ourselves in a two family house. Our place has a full basement and attic and we (mostly I) have stuff crammed into practically every square foot of it. I’m sure I have a borderline hoarding mentality but it’s not like the horror stories that you can see on TV and YouTube. The only material thing I can say I’d like would be an SUV because it’s murder driving our sedan in the wintertime. It would also be great if Bonnie could walk again and not be confined to a wheelchair, and if I could walk a few miles without my cane. Other than that, the Lord has been extremely generous to us, especially in the way we love each other way more than we did on the day of our wedding. It’s great to see you back in print again, even if it’s a little bit late. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. I’m truly concerned about your safety. I had no idea that you were having a drought and wildfires. I will keep you and your dear family in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you all the success in the world in whatever you do, and grateful for your friendship, sharp wit, intelligence and fascinating essays. Always, your number one fan in the world—Rafaelito ❤️!
Rafaelito! I love it. Oh yes, having an AWD makes a big difference to safety in icy cold winters. That's a fair want. And your wants for health, too, absolutely. You and your Bonnie Jean are indeed lucky to have found each other. That adds a lot of contentment right there ❤️
As for bushfires, it's a part of life in these parts. Each season we watch and prepare. We're not in 'official' drought (although other parts of the country are), but we've had barely any rain for two months and weeks of temperatures hovering at 100°F. Fortunately, the heat broke with some rain last night. Not much, but enough to maybe buy us time until autumn. Take care of you and yours, Rafaelito!
It is always the same: I want another day to live, another day to love, another day to write. Is that three more days or just one? If there’s anyone listening: I want them all.
We are wanting, so make it three days and take it all, Paul 😆
I will try to make it last
I want our beloved Golden Retriever back
But aware this cannot be
I treasure the simple joys she shared
And smile at every pup we see
Oh Pepper. She was the most loving and cuddly little spirit. ❤️ We miss her presence, too. I saw the obituary in The Age yesterday for Nagi Maehashi's Golden Retriever, Dozer. They certainly are lovely dogs.
Simplicity. Wake to make coffee. Each day a dream like Maya. Just get some writing done, a creation. No need for going anywhere. Each day something different. Like myself, feel good, a yoga exercise, meditation. Calmness.
I feel calm just reading it 🙂
Breathe deep, breathe essence, let go.
At any given moment I think I have no wants until I see the next bright thing I want… sigh. Re the house the 5 of us lived in a tiny house for almost 10 years consequently the proper house I have now been building for 15 years is large cause we fantasised about extra space for so long- it is now too big. Beware the extension! Building is a financial and relationship stress not for the faint hearted. Xo
Haha, it's like that, isn't it! Always something shiney out there. And then there are all the little wants that are so habitual and easily met that it's easy to forget them, like wanting to eat, shower, sleep, spend time with family. They are the nice wants.
Oh wow, 5 in a tiny house for 10 years. That's impressive. I hear you on the home building front. We lived in a tent down the back while this purposely small house was built. We always joked about the grand designs 'curse' of couples falling pregnant as soon as a build started and, voila! Our daughter was born 4 weeks after we moved out of the tent (we didn't plan on kids, but it was a pretty lovely 'curse' to befall us in the end) 😂
I just read about your trip to Japan. That must have been lovely, Gillian ❤️
What I want right now is for my next royalties to come in before we run out of money. It’s going to be tight.
And it’s entirely my fault. Record earnings last year were followed by record spending. Some of it prudent (topping up the super), some of it unavoidable, some of it … neither of those things.
I’m driven – we’re both driven – by the awareness that the things we don’t do soon, we might never do. I think I’m in reasonable shape, but I’m very aware that my father and grandfather both died when they were only seven years older than I am now.
Maybe that’s why the Angry Orange wants Greenland??
I’m glad the fire danger has abated. I’ve been looking at the huge fires to your northeast and southwest and keeping my fingers crossed for you.
But when is it going to rain?? I think that’s working its way up my list of wants, rapidly. This is our driest start to the year since 2014.
Excellent post, Alia, and a very pertinent question.
I want money. Sounds like a good song, Steve :) Good luck with those royalties. My fingers are crossed for you.
And time, we all want time. I suspect you've got an excellent chance of getting more of it than your elders did. I cross my fingers there for you, too!
Oh rain! Yes, I sure want rain. I've been watching the storms go around us for weeks. It's so disheartening when everything starts to die. I have a very water resilient garden, but even our banksia is on its last limbs.
Pretty serious when the banksias are struggling 😐
When my children were small I used to warn them about the 'want monster' who lives inside. 'keep feeding him and he will not stop until he has eaten the whole world'. Initially shocked, there were two positive outcomes to this. First, it broke the polarised deadlock of me v. them. Second, it has helped them develop understanding that more is not necessarily better and develop self-control and discernment around what they pursue in life. They've grown up to see that yes in fact, the want monster is trying to devour the entire world. And he lives inside us.
Oooh, I like that. I will tell my little ones about the Want Monster. I think want is the second most used word in their vocabulary after mummy 😆 Thanks Jacqueline!
Brilliant Alia. Wanting. It's a aliment at times. Small children are very susceptible. I am guilty too, especially when I'm tired and exhausted and I think joy and contentment will arrive if I just had this. I love Mrs Feathertop's old house. Imagine a whole family crammed in there, and visitors rolling in to eat homemade cake. It would have been a very happy place. I hope you can extend your house one day, I think you could have that want. But really I think I just want to be loved and to love in return, and that's not much at all.
Absolutely, Kate. Funnily, I read in the NYTimes today about a new book called ‘How to be Loved’, which says that feeling loved is the greatest source of contentment.
I love passing the feather house. I always think of it as a happy place (it must be the cake!), although I’m sure she wanted things, too. Perhaps electricity, as my neighbour once did, haha.
There’s little that I want that I don’t already have. Reading about your situation in a small home gives me a massive guilt trip because Bonnie Jean and I live by ourselves in a two family house. Our place has a full basement and attic and we (mostly I) have stuff crammed into practically every square foot of it. I’m sure I have a borderline hoarding mentality but it’s not like the horror stories that you can see on TV and YouTube. The only material thing I can say I’d like would be an SUV because it’s murder driving our sedan in the wintertime. It would also be great if Bonnie could walk again and not be confined to a wheelchair, and if I could walk a few miles without my cane. Other than that, the Lord has been extremely generous to us, especially in the way we love each other way more than we did on the day of our wedding. It’s great to see you back in print again, even if it’s a little bit late. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. I’m truly concerned about your safety. I had no idea that you were having a drought and wildfires. I will keep you and your dear family in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you all the success in the world in whatever you do, and grateful for your friendship, sharp wit, intelligence and fascinating essays. Always, your number one fan in the world—Rafaelito ❤️!
Rafaelito! I love it. Oh yes, having an AWD makes a big difference to safety in icy cold winters. That's a fair want. And your wants for health, too, absolutely. You and your Bonnie Jean are indeed lucky to have found each other. That adds a lot of contentment right there ❤️
As for bushfires, it's a part of life in these parts. Each season we watch and prepare. We're not in 'official' drought (although other parts of the country are), but we've had barely any rain for two months and weeks of temperatures hovering at 100°F. Fortunately, the heat broke with some rain last night. Not much, but enough to maybe buy us time until autumn. Take care of you and yours, Rafaelito!